This morning, as I was getting ready for church, I looked at my coat and decided it was too dirty to wear. It was cold this morning, so I needed to wear something. In the closet, hung the red coat I bought for my older daughter (the one who lives with her Dad now). I bought it over two years ago, so it fit her when she was 12. I looked at the size tag. It looked possible.
So, I tried it on and it fit. This may not seem important to some of you, but you see, my daughter was very slender when she was 12 (she probably still is but I haven't seen her for 2 months.) I, on the other hand, haven't been called slender since I was her age. In fact, I have been called quite the opposite on occasion. Well, that has changed. I have worked very hard to lose the extra weight, though I am not to my goal yet. I am only a little over halfway there. But being able to put on her coat is a big step for me. I was also able to put on one of her sweaters, but it was a little short. She likes her clothes to show her tummy, but I want my shirts to cross my waistband and go a little beyond.
I wonder what she would think if she knew. I told her weeks ago that I was going to start wearing the clothes that she left here when she left, and now it is a reality.
In case she reads this, I did try the blue snowflakes jammie pants, but they were still a little too snug. Maybe in a few weeks. I already took and wear your Eeyore nightgown. :)
Monday, December 19, 2005
Frost
Something woke me early this morning. The sky was just starting to lighten with the approaching dawn. I looked down at the backyard, and saw a glimmer on the tops of branches and the swingset. The grass still had color, so I knew it was frost, not snow. Heavy frost. So much for getting out of work today.
A bit later, my teenage son came in and mumbled that he was too sick to go to school. What he really means is that he is too tired. Teens need more sleep than they are willing to admit. So, they stay up late (because they think they have the stamina), and then they end up too tired. Typically, teens need 10 hours of sleep at least 4 times a week. But, they stay up all week working on homework, then stay up on weekends doing things they enjoy, so they end up not getting the rest they need at this crucial time in their lives.
How come I can understand this, but the schools don't. They schedule high school to start way too early. I suppose they want the high school kids to get home in time to watch their younger brothers and sisters.
The problem is that society is now based on having both parents working. I know few families that can get by on one person's paycheck. Especially with the increasing costs of college loaming like a behemouth. So, there are less mommies at home to watch their own children, so older brothers and sisters are being expected to rear their siblings or the parents have to obtain child care (which eats up most of the second parent's pay check.)
Sometimes, I wonder if it is worth it. I enjoy working (at least I did when I was working for REACH), but I also enjoyed being home with my first two children (who are now teens). I enjoyed being available to take them places after school or attend field trips. I am missing that with my third child. I am less able to attend her field trips, class parties and to take her places after school. As it is, I am not home in time to cook dinner anymore. Unless I put something in the crock pot, I am no longer the cook of the family. I miss that too.
I am not sure how this blog got here from frost on the swingset, but that is the way blogs are. They ramble.
A bit later, my teenage son came in and mumbled that he was too sick to go to school. What he really means is that he is too tired. Teens need more sleep than they are willing to admit. So, they stay up late (because they think they have the stamina), and then they end up too tired. Typically, teens need 10 hours of sleep at least 4 times a week. But, they stay up all week working on homework, then stay up on weekends doing things they enjoy, so they end up not getting the rest they need at this crucial time in their lives.
How come I can understand this, but the schools don't. They schedule high school to start way too early. I suppose they want the high school kids to get home in time to watch their younger brothers and sisters.
The problem is that society is now based on having both parents working. I know few families that can get by on one person's paycheck. Especially with the increasing costs of college loaming like a behemouth. So, there are less mommies at home to watch their own children, so older brothers and sisters are being expected to rear their siblings or the parents have to obtain child care (which eats up most of the second parent's pay check.)
Sometimes, I wonder if it is worth it. I enjoy working (at least I did when I was working for REACH), but I also enjoyed being home with my first two children (who are now teens). I enjoyed being available to take them places after school or attend field trips. I am missing that with my third child. I am less able to attend her field trips, class parties and to take her places after school. As it is, I am not home in time to cook dinner anymore. Unless I put something in the crock pot, I am no longer the cook of the family. I miss that too.
I am not sure how this blog got here from frost on the swingset, but that is the way blogs are. They ramble.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Been a while
Current mood: thoughtful Category: Life
(this is a repost from another place where I blog.)
I had forgotten about this place. My life got in the way. Since writing my original blogs (which started out on another blogging location), I have changed jobs three times, with the hope/expectation that I will change again, and soon. I have had major abdominal surgery, my brother has had a stroke, and my middle daughter has decided to move in with her dad.
It may sound bleak, but there has been some good in all of this. Since the surgery, I have lost a lot of weight. Since my brother's stroke, I have had more communications with him and my sister than I usually have in an entire year. My daughter may have left, but I have accepted her choice and maybe this is better for her.
She and I talked yesterday. It was sad that we had so little to say to each other. She has changed so much since she left. Maybe she had already begun to change before she left. Teenage girls and their mothers go through a tough time as the girl moves from child to young adult. I know my mother and I went through it. My husband's sister and mother went through it.
I had no where to go when my mother and I struggled. My daughter had a father and step-mother to go to. Maybe this means that we will avoid that stress and constant conflict. Maybe her moving is the best thing, but I miss her terribly. She and I used to sit and share a hot drink and talk. Now, we do neither. Often, we end up going weeks without speaking.
Oh, I send text messages and emails. I leave messages on her voice mail, but her life and mine just aren't in sync any more. It has left a void in my life.
But, the reason I chose to write here tonight was that two of my co-workers were talking about how they basically arrange their lives around MySpace. I should have said it, but I didn't: How Sad. I mean, it is nice to have a place to put down one's thoughts, but I am not about to spend all day checking to see if they have any "new friends" or "new invites". How pathetic.
I don't mind sharing some of my life in blogs, but I don't expect the computer to make friends for me. I don't need an artificial circle of friends. I make my own friends, real ones who share experiences and interests with me. And then they sat there and acted like there was no way that someone like me could possibly know what they were talking about.
Gosh, how simplistic their lives must be. I have been using the internet since the early 90s. I had a web page up before these two were even in high school. I have been on the development team of two major international firewall projects. I even remember AOL version 2.0, though I don't usually admit that I had an account on AOL. After the stalking, I try to leave that behind. I don't even use that screen name anymore, just in case he is still searching for me. I think that he finally got the message though. The fact that it has happened twice makes me even less likely to spend much time on any one of these portals. I don't want to go through that again. It is too stressful and time consuming.
Oh well. To each his own, I suppose. Maybe they will meet all the friends they will ever need through MySpace. Then again, maybe they will end up getting stalked or maybe they will just grow up and realise that life is more than the superficial.
Currently listening: Come Away with Me By Norah Jones Release date: By 26 February, 2002
(this is a repost from another place where I blog.)
I had forgotten about this place. My life got in the way. Since writing my original blogs (which started out on another blogging location), I have changed jobs three times, with the hope/expectation that I will change again, and soon. I have had major abdominal surgery, my brother has had a stroke, and my middle daughter has decided to move in with her dad.
It may sound bleak, but there has been some good in all of this. Since the surgery, I have lost a lot of weight. Since my brother's stroke, I have had more communications with him and my sister than I usually have in an entire year. My daughter may have left, but I have accepted her choice and maybe this is better for her.
She and I talked yesterday. It was sad that we had so little to say to each other. She has changed so much since she left. Maybe she had already begun to change before she left. Teenage girls and their mothers go through a tough time as the girl moves from child to young adult. I know my mother and I went through it. My husband's sister and mother went through it.
I had no where to go when my mother and I struggled. My daughter had a father and step-mother to go to. Maybe this means that we will avoid that stress and constant conflict. Maybe her moving is the best thing, but I miss her terribly. She and I used to sit and share a hot drink and talk. Now, we do neither. Often, we end up going weeks without speaking.
Oh, I send text messages and emails. I leave messages on her voice mail, but her life and mine just aren't in sync any more. It has left a void in my life.
But, the reason I chose to write here tonight was that two of my co-workers were talking about how they basically arrange their lives around MySpace. I should have said it, but I didn't: How Sad. I mean, it is nice to have a place to put down one's thoughts, but I am not about to spend all day checking to see if they have any "new friends" or "new invites". How pathetic.
I don't mind sharing some of my life in blogs, but I don't expect the computer to make friends for me. I don't need an artificial circle of friends. I make my own friends, real ones who share experiences and interests with me. And then they sat there and acted like there was no way that someone like me could possibly know what they were talking about.
Gosh, how simplistic their lives must be. I have been using the internet since the early 90s. I had a web page up before these two were even in high school. I have been on the development team of two major international firewall projects. I even remember AOL version 2.0, though I don't usually admit that I had an account on AOL. After the stalking, I try to leave that behind. I don't even use that screen name anymore, just in case he is still searching for me. I think that he finally got the message though. The fact that it has happened twice makes me even less likely to spend much time on any one of these portals. I don't want to go through that again. It is too stressful and time consuming.
Oh well. To each his own, I suppose. Maybe they will meet all the friends they will ever need through MySpace. Then again, maybe they will end up getting stalked or maybe they will just grow up and realise that life is more than the superficial.
Currently listening: Come Away with Me By Norah Jones Release date: By 26 February, 2002
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Destiny 2
My brother is back in the hospital. Two clots in his lungs, more in his legs. They have put in some type of filter, and put him on Coumadin. They say he has a mutant clotting gene. Wish they had told us that back when he was in the hospital last time. Turns out they released him without that report coming back from the lab. Then when it did, they neglected to call either his doctor or his wife.
I think the facility is incompetent. My sister-in-law is considering moving him, but he has to be in stable enough condition as well. I am not sure that he is to that point. I am sure she is also scared that their two daughters may have inherited that gene from him. I wonder if my sister or I has it. Did it come from one of our parents? Did it happen to him at some point in his life? Too many questions left unanswered.
Meanwhile, I am working for the city in the afterschool program. My prior job (two back actually) has apparently hired a new web designer, but that person hasn't done anything but yank the old site down. They should have left it in place until they had a working copy of the new site. That is just bad protocol. I never take down the old site until I have a new one ready. I had sent in my resume to do the website, but they never even acknowledged it. Guess they didn't want a professional and they obviously didn't get one. Meanwhile, the communications site hasn't been updated since May.
My immediately former job is still trying to get their budget increased so they can hire me. I should know in a few weeks. Won't be too soon for me.
My new diet is working well. I am about halfway to my goal already. It has been fairly easy. The diet itself is strict, but has some leeway (occasionally), the exercise is mild (30 minutes a day of walking). But, combined, it is working very well. I hope to reach my goal in the next 4 months. I am already in clothes sizes that I can't every remember wearing, but I know I did. I am probably the size I was in college right now. I am going for a little more, but I am not sure I will go all the way back to high school size. After all, I have had three children since then.
I think the facility is incompetent. My sister-in-law is considering moving him, but he has to be in stable enough condition as well. I am not sure that he is to that point. I am sure she is also scared that their two daughters may have inherited that gene from him. I wonder if my sister or I has it. Did it come from one of our parents? Did it happen to him at some point in his life? Too many questions left unanswered.
Meanwhile, I am working for the city in the afterschool program. My prior job (two back actually) has apparently hired a new web designer, but that person hasn't done anything but yank the old site down. They should have left it in place until they had a working copy of the new site. That is just bad protocol. I never take down the old site until I have a new one ready. I had sent in my resume to do the website, but they never even acknowledged it. Guess they didn't want a professional and they obviously didn't get one. Meanwhile, the communications site hasn't been updated since May.
My immediately former job is still trying to get their budget increased so they can hire me. I should know in a few weeks. Won't be too soon for me.
My new diet is working well. I am about halfway to my goal already. It has been fairly easy. The diet itself is strict, but has some leeway (occasionally), the exercise is mild (30 minutes a day of walking). But, combined, it is working very well. I hope to reach my goal in the next 4 months. I am already in clothes sizes that I can't every remember wearing, but I know I did. I am probably the size I was in college right now. I am going for a little more, but I am not sure I will go all the way back to high school size. After all, I have had three children since then.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)