Been a while

Current mood: thoughtful Category: Life
(this is a repost from another place where I blog.)

I had forgotten about this place. My life got in the way. Since writing my original blogs (which started out on another blogging location), I have changed jobs three times, with the hope/expectation that I will change again, and soon. I have had major abdominal surgery, my brother has had a stroke, and my middle daughter has decided to move in with her dad.
It may sound bleak, but there has been some good in all of this. Since the surgery, I have lost a lot of weight. Since my brother's stroke, I have had more communications with him and my sister than I usually have in an entire year. My daughter may have left, but I have accepted her choice and maybe this is better for her.

She and I talked yesterday. It was sad that we had so little to say to each other. She has changed so much since she left. Maybe she had already begun to change before she left. Teenage girls and their mothers go through a tough time as the girl moves from child to young adult. I know my mother and I went through it. My husband's sister and mother went through it.
I had no where to go when my mother and I struggled. My daughter had a father and step-mother to go to. Maybe this means that we will avoid that stress and constant conflict. Maybe her moving is the best thing, but I miss her terribly. She and I used to sit and share a hot drink and talk. Now, we do neither. Often, we end up going weeks without speaking.

Oh, I send text messages and emails. I leave messages on her voice mail, but her life and mine just aren't in sync any more. It has left a void in my life.

But, the reason I chose to write here tonight was that two of my co-workers were talking about how they basically arrange their lives around MySpace. I should have said it, but I didn't: How Sad. I mean, it is nice to have a place to put down one's thoughts, but I am not about to spend all day checking to see if they have any "new friends" or "new invites". How pathetic.

I don't mind sharing some of my life in blogs, but I don't expect the computer to make friends for me. I don't need an artificial circle of friends. I make my own friends, real ones who share experiences and interests with me. And then they sat there and acted like there was no way that someone like me could possibly know what they were talking about.

Gosh, how simplistic their lives must be. I have been using the internet since the early 90s. I had a web page up before these two were even in high school. I have been on the development team of two major international firewall projects. I even remember AOL version 2.0, though I don't usually admit that I had an account on AOL. After the stalking, I try to leave that behind. I don't even use that screen name anymore, just in case he is still searching for me. I think that he finally got the message though. The fact that it has happened twice makes me even less likely to spend much time on any one of these portals. I don't want to go through that again. It is too stressful and time consuming.

Oh well. To each his own, I suppose. Maybe they will meet all the friends they will ever need through MySpace. Then again, maybe they will end up getting stalked or maybe they will just grow up and realise that life is more than the superficial.

Currently listening: Come Away with Me By Norah Jones Release date: By 26 February, 2002